She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
