and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
