just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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