If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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