I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
