He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
