She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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