Buhtt sex?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
