im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize