There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
