Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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