even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
