I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
