weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
