Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
