I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
