I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
