its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
