to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
