sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
