its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
