yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize