can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize