do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
