Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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