At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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