do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize