my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
