i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
