y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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