Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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