well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
50% drunk capacity currently
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
