I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
third nipple confirmed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
