I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
