Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
