yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
