just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
A+ Viking dick
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
