In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All the doctor said was why
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
