Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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