Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
