i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize