K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
