The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize