lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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