Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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