I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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