I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Randomize
