So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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