ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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