I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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