We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
