I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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