Already got asked if we're dating
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
