i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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