I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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