I don't think brook has ever known best
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
