how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
