apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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