another moral hangover. fuck.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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