Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize