Is it because I queefed?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
