I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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