i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
