I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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